The way in which I hear people expressing what they want to accomplish, generally sounds like this:
“I have to get this task done before midday!”
“I have to tell my supervisor that I will be coming in late today.”
“I have to get the rest of my work done this evening.”
“I have to wake up early and get to the gym!”
“I have to watch what I eat!”
“I have to get to my meeting!”
“I have to go on this date.”
“I have to tell my friends that I can’t make it out tonight.”
“I have to get my final papers in!”
Do any of these phrases sound familiar?
Is this the way you are making an effort to keep yourself accountable to your commitments?
How does telling yourself that you ‘have to’ impact you?
Here is an exercise I encourage you to explore in order to learn more about how the language you use impacts you:
Say: “I have to get into work on time.”
How do you feel?
Okay, now say this: “I am choosing to get to work on time.”
How does that feel?
What is the difference for you between saying ‘I have to’ vs. saying ‘I choose to’?
What happens in your mind and in your body when you tell yourself that you ‘have to’?
What happens in your mind and in your body when you tell yourself that you ‘want to’ or that you ‘choose to’?
Which of the above phrases are more likely to get you into a panic and feel overwhelmed, anxious and/or stressed?
Which of the above phrases are more likely to result in you accomplishing your goals or following through on your commitments with more ease and success?
Please share your experience and thoughts in the comments below so that we can continue the discussion there.
In support and admiration,