One morning a few months ago I was speaking with a good friend of mine (who is also a coach) on the phone and we were talking about what our messages were to the world. I was telling her about how I felt about the teens I have worked with in the past and how I always wanted to make sure that each teen that I ever worked with knew how much I believed in them; how much beauty I saw in them, and how much I knew that they had so much in them to really succeed and thrive. I was telling my friend that although I do not necessarily express these ideas in a straightforward way to the teens that I work with, I try to give that energy over to them and, kind of like a mirror, reflect back to them the beauty that I see in them by offering them support, my full, total and sincere presence, love and encouragement.
It had occurred to me as I was speaking with her that although I have the same belief in my own children, I had rarely taken the time to express what I think about them directly to them.
After that very conversation I decided to give it a try that very day.
As usual, I picked them up from school that afternoon, brought them home, washed them up, gave them a snack and sat down to play with them. But this afternoon as my children were doing their usual thing, I took each of them over to the side privately, got down to their level, looked at them in the eyes and said, “You are amazing.”
I wondered how they would react to me telling them that. They are so young, only 5 and 4 years old. Would they understand how sincere I was? Would they understand the words?
They must have understood, because, both of them had a huge smile on their face after I told them.
I left it at that for the time being and told myself that in order for this message to resonate with them, I had to make sure that each time I said it, I was sincere; which meant I always had to look at them when I said it (get down on my knees and speak to them on their level) and make a point not to say it too often or overdo it.
About a month after I had that moment with each of them, I took my son to the doctor for his annual well check visit. The nurse took him to the back of the office to measure his height. I was with my baby in the check-up room waiting for my son and the nurse to return while down the hall I heard my son tell the nurse that he was amazing. He did not say it in a haughty way, rather in a matter of fact way. I was not expecting that. It was a whole month later. I had not mentioned that message to him since that one time. He obviously took it to heart. I could not help, but smile.
As the nurse brought him back to the room she announced that she had returned with “mister amazing.” She said it with a smile and without any hint of any sarcasm. My son had a big smile on his face, and the nurse let everyone know about “mister amazing” who was waiting in the room for the doctor to come in to check him. When the doctor came into the room, he said, “Hello, mister amazing.” My son smiled again, stood tall, and his face was shining.
I saw so clearly how confident and comfortable my son was and took a very strong message away from that experience. I saw my son put a certain energy into the world; his positive view of himself and who he was, and others reacted to him in the way that he saw himself. They saw him as an “amazing” person and gave him their full attention and respect.
What an amazing message that was for me. It got me to think about what kind of energy I put out into the world. I started to think about how I wanted the world to view me. What if I, too, walked around believing that I was amazing? What if I walked tall, with my head held high, not in a haughty way, but in a matter of fact way, just as my son had?
Later that week I took the time to sit down and think about the positive qualities that I have. I made a list for myself just like the one I created for each of my children and my spouse. I then read my list over and I felt great about myself. With this new awareness, I even felt taller (which is a lot to say for someone who is a mere 5 feet tall!) and walked around more confidently and sure of myself. I began to question myself less, and let myself learn from my mistakes rather than getting down on myself. My smile was more confident and I could literally feel myself radiating a new glow.
Wow, all that from a seemingly simple statement…that I made certain I meant.
How about you?
What energy are you putting out into the world about yourself?
How do you want the people that you interact with to view you?
This week, take a few minutes and make a list of all of your positive qualities. Read that list over and observe what impact having written and reading that list has on how you now view yourself. Observe what impact it has on the energy you put out into the world.
Make a list of the positive qualities of the people in your life that you care about. Observe how after writing and reading that list you now respond and view those people.
Comment, call, or e-mail me to let me know what you learned.
Respect yourself; find
Appreciate your unique gifts and strengths;
Contact Janette (Jenny) to find out more about how you can start getting REAL with yourself and the people you care most about through customized coaching programs and workshops today!
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org * Phone: 054.331.5781 * American line: 718.395.2331