Do you ever feel angry, resentful, and sad when your emotional and love needs are not being met?
Do you feel that it is your partner’s responsibility to know exactly how to fulfill those needs and to do so?
We often feel hurt and blame our partners for these feelings instead of taking responsibility for getting our own needs met and looking within to see what really requires fixing. The irony is that we never fully feel our needs for love and happiness met unless we, too, love ourselves.
We are responsible to know, understand, and accept ourselves. Until we do that, no matter how much another accepts, loves, and understands us, it will not suffice.
How does one go about loving oneself?
Get to know the real you – the core of who you are.
Getting to know the real you requires practice in Listening; particularly a deep type of listening that is kind and nonjudgmental.
Listening to ourselves without judgment means accepting who we are, what we feel, and the choices we have made. Listening to ourselves in this way allows for our real selves to emerge. Like getting to know a new friend, we can explore who we are, what we value and what we believe. We can also become aware of whether or not the choices that we are making in life are in line with who we truly are, and if not, make the necessary changes to get back in line with our authentic selves. It is when we are accepting and loving of ourselves AND living in line with our authentic selves, that it is so much easier to be open, accepting and loving of others.
If you are feeling as if no matter what your partner (or other people in your life) tells you or does in an effort to make you feel loved, is not working to help you feel loved and fulfilled, ask yourself: Do I love me?
If the answer is no, or you are not sure, take the time to get to know the real you with acceptance and without judgment. You and your loved ones will benefit from the love you are able to give and the love you are able to receive.
As always, please be in touch with your questions and/or comments. You can reach me anytime, here.
In support and admiration,