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What does it mean to “give”?
When we give to someone else, is it with the intention of getting something back in return? Is a ‘thank you’ or a gesture from the the person you have given to something that you expect in return?
If that is the case, then who is the giving really about?
If giving means to “offer someone something or to provide someone with something” (as the Cambridge Online Dictionary states), then that means the ‘giving’ is really about the other person and not the one doing the giving.
This is something to consider deeply if you want to give to that special someone in your life with the intention of making them feel loved, honored, and appreciated for who they are.
If you are expecting something in return, note that your giving is not pure giving, as this giving has a lot to do with you too.
In order to ensure that your loved one feels appreciated this holiday and always, give to them purely for the sake of wanting to make them happy, without expecting anything in return. This is what it means to love and to give unconditionally. Giving to and loving someone unconditionally allows your loved one to feel cherished and appreciated in the most honorable way. And when our loved one feels free and honored to be, choose, and speak their truth, they are more likely to give back in the most genuine a sincere way. This is how real love is formed.
Here are some things you can do to ensure that your gift-giving this holiday season is genuine and not conditional.
- Think about the person you are giving to. What does he or she like? What are his or her interests? What are the things that make him or her happy? Instead of thinking about what you might like to receive (thinking this would also be a good gift for your loved one), take a moment and think about your loved one, who they are, and what is important to them.
- Read up on the Five Love Languages. This resource, written by Gary Chapman, is one of the best resources available to us to help us understand what it means to give to our loved ones and how to give to them in a way that is best for them. Go and get your copy today so that, you too, can become a master giver in your relationships.
- Push your self a bit and step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you might find it easier to tell your loved one to pick out whatever gift they want while you pick up the tab. While this approach is in line with having your loved one in mind and having them choose what it is that they like, it also leaves you a bit on the sidelines when it comes to the act of giving. Instead, push yourself, and make the effort and the time to physically think about and go out to get or do something for that special person in your life. Doing so will create meaning and connection for both your loved one and you.
- Be okay with ‘no, thank you.’ This is a great test of your giving. If even after all of your effort, thought, and care, your loved one does not like the gift you have given, and you are okay with it, you can feel confident that you have given to your partner with the right intentions. It is this freedom in relationships, where each person in the relationship is free to speak their truth and honor their choices (respectfully) where real and meaningful connection can prosper and grow.
Wishing you many opportunities to give and receive a lot of unconditional love this holiday and always.
In support and admiration,