In this post I wrote about The Real Reason Relationships Work, I promised that I would share the qualities to look for in a partner that will help you create a great relationship together. In this post I will be sharing that information with you.
Relationships are Like Two Puzzle Pieces Being Fitted Together
One of the first things I describe to my clients about relationships is the comparison I make about relationships to two puzzle pieces. Imagine that you have a puzzle with only two pieces. That two-piece puzzle represents your relationship – the two of you. There is an idea about relationships having to do with a partner ‘completing’ the other partner. These two puzzle pieces together represent that ‘completion.’ I would like to point out something very important about this ‘completion’ and what it means to really be a ‘complete’ and healthy unit.
When looking for a partner to build a great relationship with, be sure to look for someone who is already a complete individual on their own.
Note that the puzzle pieces, although when put together form a whole, this whole is another, new formed whole that could not be formed without the other piece. However, each piece on its own is already a whole piece on its own. If either, or both, of those individual pieces had a hole in it, the new formed piece would also include that hole. The coming together of those two pieces does not ‘fill in’ or complete that hole found on that individual piece.
What Does It Mean to be a ‘Complete Person’ Outside of Your Relationships?
Just as each individual puzzle piece is required to be full on its own, in order to complete the picture created by the two individual puzzle pieces coming together, each individual in the relationship is required to take full responsibility to take care of their own personal challenges in order to be able to build a new and greater whole with another person.
What Qualities, then, Do You Want to Look for in a Partner to Be Able to Create the Great Relationship that You Want?
The qualities that you want to look for in a partner to create the respectful and healthy relationship that you want are:
- Responsibility (in the sense that the person takes full responsibility for his or her feelings and behavior), and
- Independence (in the sense that the person is not dependent on their partner to fill in their ‘holes’ for personal happiness with themselves or fulfillment of purpose, for example.)
These qualities, Responsibility and Independence are things that only each individual can fulfill on their own. They cannot be filled by anyone else!
These two qualities serve as the foundation to creating a relationship where you and your partner will respect each other, listen to one another and support and encourage one another as your grow together both as individuals and as a unit.
If you feel and find that you or your partner do not (yet) have these qualities, DO NOT WORRY because THEY CAN BE LEARNED.
These qualities are among the fundamental tools that I teach individuals to help them to create joyful and fulfilling relationships and careers.
Visit my services page on my website to learn more about the program I offer where you learn the essential tools for you to thrive with success and confidence in your life, career, and relationships.
In support and admiration,
My mission is to empower young professionals like you to be confident, joyful and fulfilled in your life, career and relationships. Follow me here and on social media to receive the latest updates with powerful and effective tips and tools.