Do you ever get triggered by something that someone – someone you work with, or someone you love – says or does?
If so, it may seem really uncomfortable at the time, but I am about to share with you why this is good news for you, and other young professionals like you, and your personal growth.
What happens when you get triggered?
Someone says of does something that really bugs you. You get triggered and think things like: What is wrong with [this person]? Don’t they know better?! How can they be so insensitive? Is [s/he] even thinking?! This line of thinking is dealing with your triggers from a place of pain and blame. (I call it the land of blame.) This is one way of dealing with your trigger, sure. Although dealing with your trigger from the ‘land of blame’ will only keep you running around in the hamster wheel of life you are living in, with the feeling that there is no hope of anything, or anyone, actually changing for you. That’s not too fun, is it.
Consider this perspective on getting triggered:
Consider that you being triggered is an opportunity for you to learn something about yourself. It is an opportunity for you to grow in a way that might not be possible without having been triggered in the first place.
When someone in your professional or personal life, says or does something that really bugs you, chances are they are not doing it on purpose. More likely than not, they are simply saying or doing things in the way that is most right for them. All that it is that they are sharing with you is simply information. If you are getting triggered by this ‘information’ then take that as a great clue to you that you’ve got your own stuff to work out. Otherwise (if you were feeling secure and fine with yourself or with whatever is being shared or done) you would not be getting triggered. You would clearly see with patience and respect that what the other person is sharing or doing, is their own stuff, and perhaps, their own problem. It’s not yours. If it becomes your problem, then that is your stuff that you’ve got to work out for yourself (if you want to grow and move forward.)
Getting triggered is your opportunity to figure out what it is that you’ve got to work on, work out, or strengthen for yourself so that you can live a joyful and fulfilled life.
The following are the steps you can take to grow from your triggers, rather than get burned up by them:
Step 1: The first thing that you can do is say ‘thank you’ to the person or to the experience for having provided the ‘information’ that has triggered you. (You can do this in private or directly to the person. Whichever suits you.)
Step 2: Take some time to yourself to acknowledge and accept your feelings without judgment.
Step 3: Ask yourself: ‘What is triggering me here?’ ‘Why am I getting triggered?’ ‘What does this tell me about who I am and what matters to me?’
Step 4: Once you have acknowledged what is triggering you, why that is, and what that tells you about what is important to you, get proactive. Decide and then take actions steps towards doing something – making a change or fulfilling a need that you have that you discovered in Step 3.
Viewing and using your ‘getting triggered’ experiences as an opportunity to learn about yourself, and then taking the above steps to then do something about it will get you closer and closer to living your life with joy, confidence, and fulfillment.
Enjoy this new approach to dealing with your triggers. Be in touch with any questions and to let me know how it is going for you.
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In support and admiration,