I used to get swayed by what other people would tell me to do. I used to question myself when other people told me what they think I should do. I used to get flustered when I shared an idea or an opinion that I had, only to have that idea shot down, and my opinion completely rejected. This left me feeling insecure and unsure of myself. Besides for making better choices about who I asked advice from or shared my ideas and opinions with, I found that there is a much more effective way for stopping to care about, and being swayed by, what other people think.
It began with me.
I realized that anytime I started to feel unsure of myself when another person rejected or criticized my idea or flat out rejected my suggestion or opinion, it was because I was not 100% sure of it myself. I started to use these experiences as opportunities to strengthen my own voice, my own idea, and my own opinions. What I found was that the more I strengthened and got clear with myself from the inside, the more secure I felt and the less I got effected by what other people suggested, advised, or thought on the outside.
I am my own first client, and since learning from my own experience (and combining that with my professional training and experience) I created a method to help others strengthen their inner voice and get clear on their own personal ideas and direction.
If you want to stop caring about and being swayed by what other people think, I recommend you do the following:
- Step1: Get clear on who you are. Take the time to date yourself and get to know who you really are. Who you are is not what you do. Who you are is your unique combination of the qualities that you possess.
- Step 2: Get clear on what you value. Take the time to reflect on what you care about and what is most important to you. Make a list of these things and then explore why these things are important to you. Make sure that you are writing about values that are important to YOU, and not what you know is important to other people in your life, or other people that you know, and not things that you think you should care about because that is the ‘right thing to do.’ Be sure that these values are authentic to you and reflect what is truly important to you.
- Step 3: Get clear about what you believe about what you value. If you value healthy relationships, clarify how you believe healthy relationships look like according to you. If you value women’s rights in the workplace, clarify for yourself what you believe about women’s rights in the workplace and what that looks like according to you. If you value making money, clarify what you believe about money and why you want money in your life and what you want money for. If you value joy, define what joy means to you, ask yourself why you believe it is important to be joyful and what the best ways are to be joyful in life, according to you.
Clarifying each of the above will help you to strengthen your self confidence and your own voice. It will give you clarity and direction. Knowing who you are (your qualities), what you value, and what you believe about what you value will allow you to feel secure in your thoughts, ideas, opinions and the choices that you make. Your sense of confidence, clarity, and direction will be strong enough to drown out the voices of everyone else’s opinions (both those shared with you in person and the one’s you might be renting out space to in your head.)
Keep building you, then notice the effect of other people’s criticism, thoughts, and opinions crumble away.
In support and admiration,