|Do you find that you struggle with asking for what it is that you want?
It could be that the reason you are having a difficult time with this is because you may not be believing in what it is that you deserve.
I find that we ask for what it is we (believe we) deserve.
When we have a request to make…
When we want a raise from our boss…
When we want something from our partner…
When we want to raise the prices for our services…
When we want to create happiness, health and wealth for ourselves…
It is not enough to want.
How I know
When I was in college I was in an unhealthy relationship. This left me with the feeling that I did not deserve to be in a relationship with someone who treated me with kindness and respect.
It was not until I was on the phone with a very good friend of mine discussing with him a new young man that I was dating (about two years after having broken up with the guy from college).
I was not sure that I wanted to get more serious with this guy that I was dating. I liked him, thought he was a nice guy, and appreciated the fact that he treated me very well. I shared this with my friend on the phone and even blurted out ‘I guess I will have to marry him because I know for sure that he respects me.’
My friend was shocked that I said this (and I was shocked that he was shocked by my statement. It seemed so simple and true to me.) “Jenny,” he said firmly “of course he respects you! You deserve to be respected. You don’t need to marry this guy that you are not sure about. You deserve respect from everyone. This guy is not he first nor the last guy who will give and show that to you.”
Little did my friend know that this was a significant turning point in my life. My good friend had given me an incredible gift. He helped me to open my eyes, shift my thinking, and fully embrace what it was that I truly deserved.
From then on my approach to dating changed. I confidently went out with men I respected with the confidence that I was someone respected, unique and special as well.
Once I realized this, I realized that I can apply this same approach to other areas of my life as well. If I was able to create greatness around me when it came to my relationships (and not only intimate relationships, but my friendships as well) I can apply this same approach to my career, business, health, and wealth too.
It all comes back to what it is we feel, and believe, we deserve.
Once we know what that is, it gets easier and clearer to ask for what it is that we want, and to create that which we want, with confidence.
In order to make a request with confidence, first be sure that you believe that you deserve it.
Once you believe that you deserve it, the request will be easier for you to make and you will go for what you want without any doubt in your heart.
If you find that you are having a difficult time clarifying and asking for what you want, ask yourself whether or not you believe that you deserve what it is that you want.
If you find that you are lacking belief in what you feel you deserve, work on building yourself up to the point where you believe in yourself and know full well what it is that you deserve.
Perhaps there is a story that you are telling yourself and this story leaves you feeling that you do not deserve to be happy, healthy, loved, or successful. Explore this story and ask yourself if this story that is keeping you where you are and making you feel as if you do not deserve, is really true. Work on understanding and discovering the truer story of you.
This is one of the areas I help my clients with. If you would like support with this, I would be happy and honored to help. You can reach out to me here.
In support and admiration,
posted in: Career Direction & Success | 0
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