Have you had the experience in your life where you notice that in certain areas of your life you are successful and everything is flowing well, while when it comes to other areas of your life, no matter what you do or how hard you ‘try’ you just aren’t being successful or moving forward?
This is what a technician who recently came to my home to check on our washing machine (that wasn’t – and still isn’t – working) shared with me in response to my answer to his question about what I did for a living.
He said: “In all areas of my life, business, music (he’s a musician too), friends, family, etc. I am successful, BUT I have no success in dating and relationships.”
I thought that was interesting and told him the following:
“I have found that in the areas of our life where we are successful it is because we believe that we are capable and deserving of success in that area of our life. We believe that it’s possible without a question, and so move forward with confidence, not only taking action, but BELIEVING and knowing that things will go well.”
He was intrigued and responded simply: “You are right. I don’t believe that I can be successful in dating and the more things don’t work out for me, the less I believe.”
He went on to share with me that he often goes for the ‘wrong’ women and for the ‘wrong’ reasons.
We went on to talk about how to make the right choices when it comes to dating and relationships (and anything in our life) and I’ll share that in a future post.
In the meantime it might be interesting for you to take a deeper look at those areas in your life where you are and are not being successful or achieving the goals you want, or what you desire.
First analyze what your beliefs are (or were) in those areas of your life that you ARE being, or have been, successful. Ask yourself:
What do (or did) I believe in my capability of achieving that?
What do (or did) I believe about myself?
What do (or did) I believe about the possibility of achieving this, in general?
Now ask yourself the same questions when it comes to those areas of your life where you are not (yet) being successful.
When I did this exercise for myself I created a chart. On the left side of the table I wrote those things that I achieved in my life. Under that I wrote those things in my life that I still want to achieve but haven’t yet. On the right side of the table I asked myself the questions I posed to you above, about what I believe or believed etc. and found so clearly that with regards to those things I did achieve in my life, my beliefs were and are clear and strong. The same was not true for those things that I had not yet achieved, however.
This was very eye-opening for me and gave me information for what I am required to work on so that I can be successful in those areas of my life where I really want to be successful, but I just haven’t gotten there yet – believing more and exploring and shifting my beliefs to ones that are more accurate and helpful (work that I do with my clients, as well, to help them create success for themselves.)
Believing makes all the difference.
How about you?
In what area of your life are you feeling stuck or not having success in yet?
What is it that you believe about yourself, your ability to succeed, or about success in that area of life, in general?
I would love to know if you’d like to share.
If you have any questions or would like to discuss, please reach out anytime.
In support and admiration,