The other week I was observing my teenage son wash our porches. It’s his job, and how he helps out in the home, every Friday.
When he first started doing this job, he was okay, but wasn’t that great, at it.
Over time and with practice, however, he’s really become an expert!
This reminded me of an important lesson that I would like to share with you.
Don’t hold yourself back from doing something you don’t (yet) know how to do.
Trust that with practice, patience and persistence you can, and will, learn, and even become an expert.
What is it that you require in order to take that first step, to take that leap, and…
– Apply for the job your really want?
– Make that career change?
– Ask that person you like out on a date?
– Take your relationship to the next level?
– Start that business you’ve been dreaming about?
– Ask for that donor or investor to support your company or organization?
– Share your real opinion and ideas with your boss or your team?
Of course we feel more confident when we know how to do something. The problem is when you don’t know how to do something, when it’s new. What do you do then?
That’s when you are required to tap into something deeper, something more real…something that will empower you to jump in.
And that is…
Real confidence in yourself that you build and cultivate from the inside-out.
Where will this real confidence come from?
From you shifting your focus and definition of yourself to your inner and core essence and qualities.
These are qualities that you were born with and have likely been cultivating over time in different parts of your life experiences and relationships.
More often than not, we tend to define ourselves and our self worth, by those things that we know how to do.
This becomes a problem when we are confronted with something new or something we don’t (yet) know how to do. It is usually in these instances when start to doubt and question ourselves, our self-worth, our value, and our capability.
Defining our self-worth and confidence by what we do, or do not know how to do, then, is not very effective and can even be detrimental to our emotional health (as I see with many of my clients.)
Instead, by taking time each day to remind yourself of your qualities – of the essence and core of who you are – you will be reminding yourself of who you are, what your gifts talents and strengths are and the value that you bring. This will give you the confidence and believe in yourself to take that leap and get started on those things you don’t yet know how to do.
What you can do to get started:
To get started with this practice, take out a sheet of paper and make list of all of your qualities.
Review this list every day for two weeks.
Every day for these two weeks, add the following exercise:
Every morning and night, when you look in the mirror as you are getting ready for your day, and then as you are getting ready for bed, look at yourself and say out loud:
“I respect my (or, that I am) ___________________.” Fill in that blank with a few qualities.
Do this every day for two weeks and observe how you feel about yourself.
When my clients do this exercise and incorporate relating to themselves in this way into their lives, they report back that they are standing taller and going out into the world knowing exactly what value they bring. They feel confident in their capability to handle any challenge that will come their way.
That is the goal.
If you have any questions, or would like personal support in building your confidence in this way, get in touch and we’ll schedule your complimentary consultation.
In support and admiration,