Have you ever felt really impatient, annoyed, or frustrated with those closest to you (be it a friend, parent or lover)? You know, when you expect them to behave, act, or do things in a certain way and they either don’t do what you asked or do the opposite of what you would like them to do?
I know I have. In fact in recent days I have found myself to be less than patient when the people I feel closest to (i.e. the one’s I live with – my husband and kids) are either not paying attention to what I am saying or not doing the things I expect them to do.
What usually happens is something like this: I ask someone to do something and either they do not respond or people are just doing certain things I would rather them not do. I have certain expectations of how said people should be responding or should be doing things and certain said people just don’t seem to care or be paying attention. The result: one very unhappy, frustrated, and mad Jenny.
So, what am I to do? What are my choices? I know that if I demand those closest to me to listen to me, I am not being the person that I want to be, nor am I creating the relationship atmosphere that I want. I want to be calm, patient, and loving and I want an atmosphere of peace in my home.
I know that I cannot control anyone else’s behavior but my own, and that thinking otherwise is exactly what triggers my frustration, stress, and anger. So, what can I do? What is in my control?
I can think about things from another perspective. Or better, I can think about things from their perspective.
When I stopped to think about my situation and the cycle of not listening and frustration that has been created, I realized that I was only looking at and understanding the situation from MY perspective. So, if from MY perspective they are supposed to do X and they are not doing it, I understandably get annoyed or upset. But when I stop and ask myself, “What’s another perspective? What could that person’s perspective possibly be?”, I immediately start to calm down. My mind and heart are much more open to receiving, engaging, and connecting.
So anytime you are feeling frustrated, annoyed, upset at the one’s you feel closest to, you too can ask yourself, “What’s another perspective? What can this person’s perspective possibly be?” (And if you really want to know what that perspective is, ask that person, but be sure to also LISTEN from your loved one’s perspective.)
Applying this simple, yet powerful tool, as I have experienced it, can help us to release much of our stress and feelings of annoyance, anger and frustration and reconnect to those we really love.
Are you willing to try it?
If so, let me know how it goes, either in the comments below or send me a private message or any question you have to: Jenny@BuildBetterRelationships.com
I look forward to being in touch.
Have an incredible day!
Becoming a Master of Love: Part 3 | Jenny Sassoon
[…] at our partners unless we take these lenses off altogether and put a whole new pair of glasses on. [Click here for more tips on how to reconnect with your loved ones using this tool.] If you want to break the negative judging cycle in your relationship, retrain yourself and start […]