One Sure Fire Way to Get Someone to Listen to What You Have to Say

shoutHave you ever had the experience that you are talking or trying to share your feelings, or incredible ideas or suggestions with others only to feel as if everything your are saying is falling on deaf ears?!

This can and does happen in our lives, our jobs, and in our relationships.  And when this does happen to us, we are often left feeling angry, resentful, frustrated, and even exhausted.  So, what can we do to change this dynamic?  How can we get others to listen to us; to hear our thoughts, our suggestions, our feelings, and/or our incredible ideas?

Here is one sure fire way to help you get heard in your life (be it as a student, or in your workplace) and in your relationships:

 

Listen to Others.  Yes, you read that correctly.  If you want others to listen to you, you first have to listen to them.  When that person feels heard, they will be much more open to hearing you too!  As tough as this may be to hear, if you yourself are not feeling heard in your life and in your relationships, there is a good chance it is because you are not being a great listener either.  (And I would not be telling you this if I did not know it to be true and not have embraced this concept myself first!)

Interested in getting a better idea of how good of a listener you currently are?  Ask yourself the following questions to find out.

How often do you?

  1. Spend more time talking than listening?
  2. Finish the sentences of others?
  3. Judge the person you are listening to?
  4. Let the other person speak?
  5. Plan your response before the other person has finished?
  6. Interrupt?
  7. Keep your mouth shut without offering ANY advice?

 What are you learning about how YOU listen?

If we want others to listen to us with respect and non-judgment, we must look to ourselves first and be real and honest with ourselves about whether or not we are giving that same respect and non-judgment to others.  This concept may be tough to embrace because our egos, and personal needs, wants and desires are so strong.  Trust me, I am human, just like you, and know that understanding this idea of listening to others so that we ourselves can also be heard, is a tough concept to incorporate and swallow at times.  But I also know how incredibly effective doing this is and I encourage you to try it out.

So, practice becoming a great listener first and put your own ideas and thoughts on the back burner for now.  Don’t worry, you will have your chance to share you thoughts, suggestions and feelings too.  And the better you become at listening without an agenda, and with respect and non-judgment, the more successful you will be at being heard too.

For more on how to become a great listener, find my 7 steps to doing just that here.

If you have any questions or comments, you can write them here, or contact me anytime.

 

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CEO @ UnleashingU!

I am dedicated to empowering you with the tools you need to succeed in your life, career and relationships. Contact me with a comment or question anytime at: Jenny@unleashingu.com

2 Responses

  1. […] Now that you have recognized what is in your control (and let go of what is not in your control), it’s time to get proactive and take action.  If you would like to see/experience deeper connection, you will have to BE that person who is creating a space for deeper, more intimate connection.   If you would like your partner to open up, open yourself up first.  When the time feels right, jump in and share YOUR feelings, thoughts, and ideas about what is important to you.  Think of ways that will create a space for sharing more intimate feelings, connection, and experiences.   Some things that are likely to create this space is creating an environment of Respect in your relationship  [to read more about how to create relationships based on real respect, click here.]  You can also learn and practice how to be a really great listener [for more on how to become a great listener, click here.] […]

  2. […]   (And if you really want to know what that perspective is, ask that person, but be sure to also LISTEN from your loved one’s […]

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