Even though you think your partner might know what you are feeling; and even though you think your partner might know what you are thinking, there’s a good chance your partner might have no clue at all.
You might be saying to yourself:
Well if s/he really loves me, s/he should know exactly how I feel; exactlty what I want; and exactly what I am thinking. If s/he really cared about me they would know exactly what to do (for me)!
It may look this way in the movies, but it just does not work this way in real life relationships.
In real relationships, you are required to communicate what you are feeling and thinking. In real relationships you are required to take responsibility and tell your loving partner what it is that you want. In real life relationships, your partner cannot read your mind; nor can you read his or her mind.
In real (and healthy) relationships we communicate clearly with our parthers and let them know what we want. We also ask our partners how they are feeling, what they are thinking, and what they want.
Too often we make the assumption that our partners should know or do know what it is that we want. When we make this assumption we also take the next leap and assume that the reason, then, that “s/he is NOT doing what I want is because s/he does not care.” Or worse, “s/he is not doing what I want to spite me.” This is where we get ourselves into trouble in our relationships.
In order to avoid this type of trouble in your relationship, stop assuming (everyone knows what happens when you ass-u-me.) Instead, take responsibility and let your partner know exactly how you feel, exactly what you are thinking, and exactly what you want. It may sound less sexy to be in your relationship in this way, but I can tell you that communicating in this honest way with your partner will lead to deeper, more powerful, and incredibly passionate and loving connection between the two of you.
[Click here to learn more about how to communicate your needs and wants in your relationship and how to understand your partners needs and wants better too.]
In support and admiration,
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