When it comes to dating and relationships, how do you go about finding the right person to date?
Do you have an image in your head about what someone you would like to date should look like, or should be doing? Do you put pressure on yourself or someone you are considering starting a relationship with to be a certain way? (Take note of my emphasis on the word ‘should.’)
If so, here is what I suggest to help you date and build a relationship in a positive, healthy and meaningful way.
The first step to you dating in a confident way that will bring you happiness and fulfillment is to let go of what I call ‘the movie myth.’
What is the ‘movie myth’? It is the myth that the way dating and relationships are portrayed on the big screen is the way that dating and relationships happen in real life. Whatever is happening on the screen is Hollywood. Recognize that what you are seeing on the screen is acting. It is made to look perfect. When you think about it, though, you will realize that those perfect lines being stated by the characters in the movie were written and given to these characters. It’s not what they would say on their own (necessarily). It is what their screenwriter and director told them to do and say. I know that what is being portrayed on the screen looks really amazing, and great real-life relationships are amazing. The danger in comparing your approach to dating or relationships to what is being shown in the movies is that you run the great risk of sabotaging experiencing real happiness in your own personal dating and relationship experiences.
Relationships work when we are being present with the person and with our experiences.
Make every effort to let go of this pretend image and focus on the real person and the real experience in front of you.
To summarize the above, in order to feel good, confident and happy either when you are dating or already in a budding relationship, do the following:
- Let go of the ‘movie myth.’
- Don’t compare the person you are dating or your relationship with anyone else.
- Let go of what you think the person you are dating or your relationship should be and be present with who and what is.
In support and admiration,