Everyone wants to be heard.
This is true for all people in relationships, both personal and professional. This is a key principal you will want to understand in order to create pleasant and effective interactions with those you love and those you work with.
How We (Tend to) Listen
When it comes to listening, many of us tend to listen not to the other person, but rather to ourselves. When someone else is speaking, if you are having a dialogue in your head asking yourself about what you think this person should be doing, how you would respond, what you would do, what your experience was in the same situation, or judging the person who is speaking…guess what? You are not listening.
What Does it Mean to Listen?
To listen to someone else is to listen to what the other person is saying, and doing so from their point of view. Listening means to understand what that other person is feeling, experiencing and expressing. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them.
What Happens When Someone Feels they Are Really Being Listened to?
The person being listened to in this way – from their point of view – feels heard. Feeling heard, as you may have experienced yourself, is a feeling of feeling full, satisfied and whole. It is the feeling of not having the need to whine, complain, or cry about something because that need has been satisfied and met in the listening and the feeling of being heard.
Other Benefits of Listening to Others
When the person you are listening to feels heard, they are more likely to listen to you and others, as well. If you are finding that others are not listening to you, speaking over or above you, whether at work or in your personal life, take this as a sign that the person not listening to you is also not feeling heard themselves.
What Can You Do to Create an Atmosphere of Listening in Your Personal And Professional Life?
You can create a culture of listening in both your personal and professional life by becoming a better listener yourself. Use the experience of you recognizing the need to be heard as a sign and an opportunity for you to create this culture of listening that you desire. When you become a better listener, and really make the effort to be present and listen to others in your life in a way that they feel fully heard, you are creating the atmosphere that you seek; one in which you will feel heard, as well.
How about you?
What is your experience with listening to others? What is your experience with you feeling heard either at work or in your personal life? What questions about listening, or about relationships in general, do you have for me? I am happy to hear from you and respond! Please share your experiences or questions in the comments below.
In support and admiration,
Want to Learn More?
Becoming a better listener and learning how to apply other principals that will help you create success, joy and fulfillment in your life, career, and relationships, is part of my private coaching program that I provide to young professionals like you. Learn more about it here.
Ready for Change?
If you are sick of being in your rut, know that there is more in the cards for you, and are ready to take action, get in touch. We’ll set up your complimentary consultation and get you started on your journey. Let’s go!