If you are a young professional experiencing feeling stuck, unmotivated, unclear, or unhappy in your life, what might be happening is that you are focusing on the wrong things.
In my experience working with my clients, I have found that most of the time people tend to think about and focus on all of the things that are going wrong or on the things that they do not want to be happening in their lives. For example, my clients have expressed the following:
- “I don’t want to think about my past anymore.”
- “I don’t have any real friends.”
- “I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.”
- “I receive absolutely no support in my job.”
- “I cannot get myself to fulfill my goals.”
What I explain to my clients is that by focusing on what you don’t want you are actually inviting more of what you do not want into your life.
When you focus on not wanting to think about your past that may have been a hurtful experience for you, you are actually bringing your past and your hurtful experience into your present life. Focusing on not having any friends, being alone, having no support and not fulfilling your goals, brings more of that reality into your life. It becomes your experience.
Where to put your focus instead?
To really move forward in your life, the first thing to do is to incorporate the understanding that you are the creator of your life. Just as you are creating what you don’t want to be happening, you can create what you DO want to be happening.
Set your intention on what it is that you want.
Think of it as a compass. Wherever you set your compass to be directed, that is the path you will follow. Your intention is your beacon. It is where you will be led.
Shifting your intention to what you want (instead of what you don’t want.)
Using the examples above, here is how you can set your compass straight, in the direction of what you want and where you really want to be headed (the “Old” way is focusing on what you don’t want, while the “New” way is setting your intention instead on what you do want.)
- Old: “I don’t want to think about my past anymore.” New: “This is my vision for my now and my future.”
- Old: “I don’t have any real friends.” New: “These are the type of friends I want and will attract into my life.”
- Old: “I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.” New: “I want to be married to a person who is ___________(fill in the blank with their qualities.) This is what it feels like to be married to them:___________________(take time to visualize and feel what this experience would be like for you.)
- Old: “I receive absolutely no support in my job.” New: “I receive support in many different ways in my job. I want to be supported more. That support looks like____________(fill in what that looks like for you. Be specific.) These are the different ways I receive the support I require.”
- Old: “I cannot get myself to fulfill my goals.” New: “I am fulfilling my goals effortlessly. I have fun fulfilling my goals.”
You might be wondering…
‘But it seems like when I do that I am lying to myself.’ It may seem that way to you, and that is likely because you do not believe it. Either you do not believe you are deserving of it, or you do not believe it is possible. Not believing in yourself or in that it is possible becomes your intention, and then, therefore your reality. I suggest you work on believing in yourself and believing that you deserve goodness and all the things that you want in your life. You are deserving, you are valuable and you are worthy of being happy, successful and fulfilled. (Say that to yourself every single day. It is true.)
Creating that which you want to experience is much easier than you might think.
Take a few minutes today to test this concept of shifting your intention to that which you want. First say what it is that you don’t want, and experience what that feels like. Then switch your intention to that which you DO want, and then see what that feels like.
Which one allows you and your energy to feel more open?
When you feel open, know that that is what is most true for you. Trust that and believe that you are deserving of all the goodness that you want to have in your life.
In support, admiration, and in awe of all that you are,
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