Lately I have been finding that it is so hard for me to keep up with everything going on in my life right now, work, school, my children. Do you have any suggestions for how I can find balance in my life and my family relationships?”
Thank you for submitting your question. Finding balance is something that I too – and many others I have spoken to over that last few months – have been trying to work on.
One person said to me: “My mind is always two or three steps ahead of what I am actually focused on.”
That is why my first suggestion for finding balance in your life is to practice being FULLY PRESENT in your life.
By that I mean – with whatever you are doing – stay focused on only that thing; whether it is reading or speaking to your children, working on a project at work, studying for a test, or making time for yourself.
Say to yourself: “My child is asking me for my attention right now. I will give it to her and focus ONLY on what she is saying and expressing to me.”
Efficiency is the key here; and it is difficult to be efficient with your time if you are focused on three different things at the same time.
Here is a suggestion: A tool that works well for me is at the beginning of each week I make a list of ALL the things I want to accomplish that week. Then I break up that list into the days of the week and fill in what I want to accomplish each day.
This exercise helps get the jumble and noise out of my head and onto a piece of paper where I can now take more control over it. I even go as far as to write in when in the day I will do the things I have planned for that day. This makes each of my days less overwhelming and my tasks more doable.
I also try to never schedule anything for when my kids come home from school. My plan is to give them my full attention for the next hour, at least. Many times it only takes a few solid minutes (maybe 20 or 30) of full and total presence with my children to give them the impression and the trusted feeling that I care and really want to connect with them. (I have also seen how doing this has a positive affect on the way that they behave the rest of the day and on our relationship!)
I know, and the children know, that after their bedtime – it is MY time to get back to my scheduled tasks.
These days it is SO easy to get off track with the internet being such a draw and people being able to get in touch with us at any time through our cell phones and text messaging.
The key here is to honor yourself and the commitments you make to yourself and the others in your life.
Committing to be fully present and in the moment with what you said you wanted to focus on at the time, will help you feel more relaxed and in control. It will help you be efficient with your time and thereby get you to accomplish more and be able to connect in a deep way to the people you care most about…including yourself.
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…yourself and the people you care most about.