Yes, you read that right; stop being so open.
I hear it time and again from young professionals who are looking for a new job to those looking for a new relationship: “I am open. I can do anything. I just need a job.” Or, “I can date anyone. I don’t want to limit my options. You never know.”
I understand the logic behind the approach of being open. I relate to the fear of limiting yourself, and thereby, potentially missing an opportunity. And I also disagree with it.
I believe, and have found, that the more ‘open’ we are, the more we are actually limiting ourselves (yes, you read that right too.) The reason for this is that when we are open to anything and everything, either when it comes to dating, finding a job, or starting a business, we are sending out too general of a message both to ourselves and those we are communicating with. This general and open message is too vague. And when our message and goal is too general and vague, we are also too general and vague (and/or confused) about the steps we are required to take to achieve our goal; leaving us less likely to achieve that goal with success.
In order to be successful in reaching any of your goals or dreams, then, I suggest you get super clear and specific. Being specific will give you clarity about what you really want. When you are clear and specific about what you want, you will also communicate that clearly to others. Once others know exactly what you want and what you are looking for (in either a job or an intimate partner) they will be able to recognize and recommend that job or that potential partner of yours more easily, as will you.
If you have been sitting with a goal of yours for a long time without having yet achieved it, ask yourself? Am I being too open? Do I really want just any job? Would I really just date anyone?
If this is the case, perhaps it is also the reason you still have not reached your goal.
Instead, get clear and specific about what you want.
When it comes to dating and relationships, ask yourself:
- What qualities am I looking for in an intimate partner and a relationship?
- What are my values?
- What values do I respect in those I would like to build a relationship with?
When it comes to finding a job or building your business, ask yourself:
- What are my qualities?
- What are my interests?
- What do I care about?
- If I could do absolutely anything with no chance of failure, what would it be?
I hope that you find the above questions helpful in helping you get clear about what you want. Just as it is when you are driving with the goal to get to a specific destination, once you know what you want and where you are going, the steps to getting there will be much clearer to you. This will make it much more likely for you to reach your goal with success.
As always, be in touch anytime with your comments or questions. You can comment below or contact me anytime, here.
In support and admiration,