When it comes to you looking for a job or finding the one you want to date (and even marry), never, ever assume that those around you, including your friends, family, and colleagues know exactly what (or who) you are looking for. As strange as this may sound to you, what you think, or assume, your friends, family, or colleagues know about what you want, may be very different from what it is that you actually want. And if you want them to know, or even better, if you want their assistance in helping you find and get what you want, you are going to have to tell them.
“But of course my friends and family know what I am looking for! They have known me for years!” you might be thinking to yourself. (My clients, or random people I speak with, tell me this all of the time.)
While your friends, family, and colleagues may have known you for years, they still might have a very foggy idea of either what kind of work you would love to do (when it comes to your job search), or what kind of person you would like to meet, date, or marry (when it comes to dating); or have a very different idea in mind for you than what you actually want. The only solution, then, is for you to check in with them and then state clearly and specifically what (or who) it is exactly that you are looking for.
You might also be thinking that it is easier to let those close to you figure out what you want and what they feel is best for you on their own. But that approach is just not fair, not to them, and not to you. This approach only leads to frustration both on your end and on the end of those people in your life who genuinely want to help and support you.
In order for you to get what you want, then, you are first going to have to get super clear on what that is yourself, and then express what that is to others. There is just no other way around it when you want to get a job, or meet that someone, who is just right for you. Getting clear first yourself will already begin to open the pathway to you getting closer to what you want, because when the message is clear to you, it is also much clearer to others, making the path to getting there clearer, as well.
If you wold like to be on the path to getting what you want in either your professional or personal life, here are my suggested homework exercises for you this week:
- Journal about what it is that you want, either when it comes to your job or career, or your personal relationships (or both!) Create a paragraph for each (if relevant.)
- Tell it to yourself (or say it out loud.)
- Tell 3 friends, family members, or colleagues (or a combination of the three.)
- Keep sending out this clear message to both yourself and those you meet.
- Keep me posted (either in the comments below or by contacting me) on how this exercise is helping you.
If you are having trouble getting clear to yourself and to others about what you want and want to be someone who creates success and fulfillment in your life, career and relationships, enroll in the Unleashing You Customized Coaching Program. Learn more about it here, or contact me to schedule your complimentary consultation.
In support and admiration,