“Should I take the job? It might be a good opportunity. But the hours are so long. It’s not me. I won’t have a life if I take this job. I don’t know what to do!”
My client could not make up his mind. Torn between the pluses and minuses this job had to offer, and frozen with the fear that this job offer might be the only opportunity he had to get a job, my client felt stuck and confused.
Through listening and asking him questions to help him figure out what the best choice for him would be in this situation, he realized that he was lying to himself when he was telling himself that working at that particular company was something he could do. And he very well could do it, if he wanted to. Recognizing that this was not the first time he was “lying” to himself, he referenced other times when he did the same thing: convinced himself to do something because he felt that that was what was expected of him. He noted that every time he had done this in the past, he was not happy with those choices, nor did he have a successful outcome in those situations.
“If I am honest with myself, then the truth is, I would not choose this job.”
It hurt him to say those words out loud. The fear of a potential missed opportunity was still there.
You might not know what you might be “missing” out on, but what do you know?” I asked him.
“I know that if I commit to this job, I will not be happy. Because it’s not me, and I have to trust that.”
“What is your take-away, then, from this experience with making this decision?” I asked.
“To be true to myself. Because as nervous as I am, I know that it is only when I am true to myself that I will be happy and successful.”
It is not always easy to stay true to yourself. In fact, it is often that the voices of other people or the voices of what you think you should do that might creep into your mind, causing you to be confused and feeling stuck with an important choice you want to make.
What is my experience been with telling or convincing myself to do something because I thought that was the right thing to do? What were the results?
What is my experience with me ignoring what my own inner voice was telling me to do, and doing the opposite? What were the results?
What is my experience when I listen to and follow my own inner voice? What happens then? What is the result?
I look forward to hearing your answers! Please share them, and any questions you might have about this post, in the comments below or in a private message to Jenny@unleashingu.com
In support, admiration, and in awe of all that you are,