When we spend time critically looking at our lives, our environment (both in-person and online) or reading the news, it is easy to become very judgmental. Furthermore, it is easier to blame everything and everyone else around us for causing what we see as problems, and even easier to wait for others to make the changes that we want to see. Quite frustrating and dis-empowering, isn’t it?
To be honest, even though I have converted to the life-approach of taking full responsibility for my life, I too trip into the land of blame at times. A few weeks ago, every single day that I walked down the stairs (which we share with our neighbors) to my apartment, I got angry at the sight of all the weeds, leaves and garbage gathering at the corners of each landing and stair.
As I walked down my stairs, this was the running commentary in my head: What a mess! Why wasn’t anyone else taking care of this?! I did not make this mess. This is not my responsibility! Why doesn’t anyone care?!
By the time I entered my home, I was very grumpy, to say the least. This went on for a good few weeks, until I realized that it was clear that nobody else was going to do anything about it. I chose to shed my ‘blame’ clothes and get proactive instead. After all, I was clearly the one who did care and was bothered by it. If I wanted to see a change, I thought, I was going to have to be the one to initiate that change. Plus, I had some good motivation. I have clients who come to work with me in my home office. It is important for me that my home and office are clean and put together out of respect to my clients and our work together.
I contemplated approaching my neighbors and suggesting that we schedule a day to clean the stairs together. That seemed like a good idea. Then, as I walked up my stairs one morning, I pulled at some of the weeds and realized that they were not that difficult to pull out myself. I decided then that I would ask my husband to help me clean the stairs (and bond over hard labor ;).)
We committed to an evening that worked well for the both of us, got to work, and got it done. When we were finished, I felt so much better. Doing something about the stairs and taking the initiative to change something I did not like instead of waiting around for someone else to do it, was empowering. It helped me create the change that I wanted to see so that I can have the experience I wanted to have. Walking down my stairs is now a much more pleasant experience.
How about you?
Have you ever felt frustrated by your situation or by circumstances you did not see yourself responsible for?
How did you handle it?
What are some of the things you could have done – or could do – to make the changes you want to see?
Here are a few guidelines to help you take charge and change the things you don’t like:
- Take responsibility. Instead of waiting around for someone else to take responsibility, take the reigns and take charge on your own.
- Decide what you are going to do about it. Brainstorm the various ideas,options, and approaches that will help you make the changes that you want to make.
- Get motivated. Ask yourself why it is important for you to change what you don’t like. Perhaps it is for you, or perhaps it is for someone else you care about. Whatever it is, knowing why you want to make the change is more likely to motivate you to make it happen.
- Just do it. Take action and put your money where your mouth is. As Robert Fritz points out in his book, “The Path of Least Resistance”, “dreamers only dream, but creators bring their dreams into reality.”
As always, be in touch with any questions or comments. You can reach me here:Contact Jenny Now! :)
Have an amazing week!
In support and admiration for all that you are,
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