Do You Know About the Woman in the Attic?

Have you ever heard about the woman in the attic? You know, that woman who hides parts of herself to make her relationship work? I know of a few women like this and this is one of their stories.

I thought that one of my best friends had the perfect marriage and family. For years I held their approach to parenting and home-schooling, their ultra healthy lifestyle, and their ‘happy and supportive’ marriage, as my ideal.

Which is why it came as a complete shock to me when my friend called me one day to tell me that she was getting a divorce. I had no words and sat down to absorb hers. Aware of my understanding confusion, my friend asked me: “Do you know about the woman in the attic?” “Yes. I had heard about the concept,” I replied. “Well I had seven of me up there,” she stated flatly.

“But why?” I asked. “Because I knew early on that if I wanted to make my marriage work with this man, I would have to hide all of these parts of myself to make it work.”

And it did “work”, until my friend could not take it any longer. She was literally suffocating in her marriage and in her own life.

But it does not need to be this way. In fact, the opposite is true. Your marriage and your family is better, healthier, and stronger, and more real when you are being your real self, are in touch with who you are, and are fulfilled in your own right!

At the upcoming B-lance Retreat for Working Women & Mothers, I am excited to share with you What it means to BE yourself in your relationship, Why it’s great for your marriage, and How to practically balance your ME and your relationship’s WE to make it enriching and fulfilling for you and your partner.

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