I am my own first client. I have struggles just like you. I get stressed, overwhelmed, feel tired, get stuck, and sometimes lose track of what matters to me most. When I feel this way, I luckily have the tools and some fabulous resources to tap into to pick myself up again. Like you, I just have to make the choice to do so.
This week I had the wonderful opportunity to begin a 6-week intensive relationship enrichment program with my colleague, Shimshon Meir Frankel. I want to share some of what I am learning about myself in the process with you. I am choosing to share with you for two reasons. One, writing about it helps me to process my own learning, and two, my goal is to share whatever I can with you if it will help you improve your life and/or relationships.
In these past few weeks I have been feeling like there just isn’t enough time in the day or the week to finish everything that I have committed myself to doing. I was feeling a bit disconnected from myself and did not have everything prepared in my home the way I would like it to be. I am sure that I am not the only one who feels this way. So what are some steps we can take to help us get back on track to feeling less ‘out of control’ and overwhelmed, and more in balance and in control in our lives and / or our relationships?
Here is what I discovered about myself. In my program with Shimshon Meir I was asked to list the top three things I value most in my relationships. My list included Trust, Communication, and Quality Time.
I zeroed in on the ‘Time’ value because this is what felt most out of balance for me right now. What I realized through this exploration was just how much I value time, which for me includes being present, listening, and creating memorable moments with the people I care most about.
I also realized that ‘making time’ does not mean that I have to be ‘doing’ something or planning an activity. My ‘work’ is to let go, be gentle with myself, and to just ‘be.’
I recognized that the reason I was feeling overwhelmed and out of balance was because I was not tending to one of the things I value most: Quality Time.
This awareness helped me get refocused on what really matters to me, which resulted in me making better choices of how I use my time and what I use it for. This was my homework for the week: Make time – create memorable moments, and ‘let go’ so that I can be available to create those moments.
What has been helping me put these ideas into practice is simply thinking of the word ‘Time.’ This word alone serves as a reminder to me about what really matters to me. And the choices that I make are based on what I value most.
For example, today I made the difficult choice to not to go to a professional lecture that seemed really fantastic, and one that I really wanted to go to. What made the choice easier, however, was having the clarity of what was really important to me: taking care of the physical and emotional needs of myself and my family, and giving fully to and being fully present and available for my clients.
So here are three steps you too can take to help you create more balance in your life and make better choices for yourself:
- Make a list of what you really value; of what really matters to you.
- Think about and put into practice how you will bring these values into your life and relationships.
- Make your choices based on what you value most.
And keep in mind that when we are feeling overwhelmed, unhappy, or out of control, it is probably because we are compromising on what matters to us most. Keeping our values front and center will lead to better choices and better relationships with ourselves and the people we care most about.